I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
