the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
