dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
