Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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