I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
