please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
