Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
