dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
