those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
