so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
