Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
