make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
