I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
