he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
