for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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