one might say we're banned from that church
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit