About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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