are you so shy because you have an std?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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