Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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