So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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