we're blogging at a bar
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
