people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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