Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
