i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
