You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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