I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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