Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
