she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
