My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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