standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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