Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
