So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
