I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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