It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just pee around me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
