I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
