I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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