Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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