I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
