And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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