the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
