I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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