i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
