I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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