and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
