I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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