Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
