Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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