my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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