I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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