dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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