Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
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happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My penis needs a shock collar
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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