You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
