yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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