I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize