You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
