I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
