whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
