She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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