I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
