So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize