waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
